i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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