yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Are these your boobs on my camera?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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