brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
