I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
