I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
