i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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