the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
