haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life