i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"