In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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