Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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