every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
