if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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