You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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