Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
