i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
