Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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