You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
