dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
