when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
im on a boat
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