But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
