Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
