I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
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I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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