god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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