i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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