Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
