I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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