walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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