I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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