I must be too annoying 4 u.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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