I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
