The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
