So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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