hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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