"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you never un-have a 4some
True strength comes from lack of pants
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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