I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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