somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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