honey bunches of taint.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
