that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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