We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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