She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
