You smell like stripper and shame
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
