Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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