Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
