You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
