I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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