Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
as a side note pls kill me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
