do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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