hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
