Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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