I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
