I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
