How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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