sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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