do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
