Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
