they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
