i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We need to get me chipped asap
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
ok first of all what the fuck
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
