so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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