tell your sister to shave her snatch
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
