xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
