well I can't set my house on fire every night
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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